Sunday, August 3, 2014

To Mandie

Mandie passed away.
Though they said she died with a heart attack.
I believe she died in peace, with heaven's gates opening, and God stepping through and watching her trot towards Him, and wagged her tail, meeting God for the first time.
He's taking care of her until I can be up there with her again.

This is my poem I managed to write yesterday while pain and loneliness was all I felt:

'I will never get enough
of her touch
of her smell
of her comfort
For there is no way to record
the ways she smells when she's wet
her shivers during a storm
how her soft brown eyes would comfort me when I was upset
She has always been
my best friend
my protector
my joy
I will never be ready  
to let her go
to forget her
to move on
I will always
love her
care for her
remember her
She has always been more than a dog or a friend
She was my family.'

And  all those hugs I have given her now seem priceless, because as I want them most right now and I can't hug her again.
All of her kisses, licking my face, and sometimes even my feet because she was so silly, now feels like something gone, gray in the distance.
How she would be so annoying during supper time, demanding she have some of our human food as her own.
How she would come into a room so happy sometimes, and if you were on the floor, you'd be rewarded with a whack on the head from her tail.
Even watching her happy little behind as we took her on walks and we would get so embarrassed because she would drop a load, and we didn't have a bag with us to pick it up.
How she would run through the house and you'd have to rush to the sliding glass door to let her out on the deck, because once her walk was over, a dip in her dog pool, and a nap came immediately behind it.
How our front door has her nose art smeared all over it from sitting too close to the door while watching the traffic drive by.
How she would come rub her body against the couches when she was wet, a habit we were never able to break.
The way she would press her pink nose against my door in the morning, I'd hear her nails clip clap on the wooden floor and feel her wet nose come up to my head on the bed telling me to wake up, for the night was too long for us to be apart.
How after that, she would go over to my aquarium and lick up any dropped fish food on the floor.
How she'd be laying on the floor, and I'd widen her front legs and sit there as if I was sitting on her lap.
How when I would be cuddled in her bed and she'd rest her head somewhere on my body.
I loved that feeling.

Mandie had so many wonderful quirks that can never be replaced.
She was unforgettable.

I love you, sweet girl.
With all my heart.


1 comment:

  1. Oh Steph, I'm so sorry! Praying for you during this hard time. <3